The one that got away
Love your enemies in case your friends turn out to be jerks
Avoid thinking about winning the lottery while making love
Brainwash yourself before someone nasty beats you to it
Confess big secrets to people who aren’t very interested
Write a love letter to your evil twin during a lunar eclipse
Fool the tricky red beasts guarding the Wheels of Time
Locate the master codex and add erudite graffiti to it
Dream up wilder, wetter, more interesting problems
Change your name every day for a thousand days
Kill the apocalypse and annihilate Armageddon
Exaggerate your flaws till they turn into virtues
Brag about what you can’t do and don’t have
Get a vanity license plate that reads KZMYAZ
Bow down to the greatest mystery you know
Make fun of people who make fun of people"
— Rob Brezsny, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Illustration by Pablo Picasso, Chez Camille Renault, Puteaux. From a collection of Livres d’Or, which are leather-bound books kept by many restaurateurs and bar-owners in which their guests, especially if well-known, are asked to inscribe their names and if possible a sentiment or two in praise of the food. Camille Renault’s restaurant outside Paris has one of the best known, volumes of them piled high on a special table in one of the dining rooms.
At least i know bikes and trains won’t break my heart
— Jeanette Winterson, Gut Symmetries (via saisonlune)
— Ingmar Bergman (via myarmisnotalilactree)
Jerusalem Library, Palestine, 1935
(matteocarrera) via mythologyofblue
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is
yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”"
This is one of my favorite jokes that makes me cry on the inside.